Saturday, February 6, 2010
I hate using public toilets. There is something simply wrong with the idea of multiple people using the same space for … well you know … especially bathrooms used by unrelated people with very little to connect themselves to each other. I try to avoid public bathrooms at all costs.
Its not just the poo taboo too. There’s a whole mixture of senses in the bathroom that are better left unsaid. I will speak of one however. I think there is nothing so disturbing as going to a public bathroom, sitting on a commode, and finding the seat to still be warm from the previous user’s body heat. At this point the standard journalistic questions of who, what, where, when, and why all flood my mind. Of course with questions comes my imagination trying to fill the gaps, and believe me my mind trying to fill in those blanks … well that’s just something you do not want to glimpse. AGH!
Maybe I can convince the rest of the world to not use public bathrooms and then when I do, I won’t have to worry about these thoughts.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Recently my wife and I watched Terminator Salvation, a pretty decent action flick I must say. I mildly burned my tongue eating pizza while watching it, a price I’d gladly pay again. Everything tastes just a little painful though. Anyway, back to the reason of this discussion.
While watching the credits for the film I noticed that the principle female lead had the name of Moon Bloodgood. That’s allowed? I mean you can name your kids anything?! Really? KEWL!
Do you understand what that kind of freedom opens up? I thought using a Gaelic name for my little girl was “out there”, but now that I realize I have TOTAL freedom to name my kid ANYTHING … well lets just say my mind is afire! So here are a few possible boys and girls names I’m now considering for my next child.
Boys
- Dragon Slayer
- Master Blaster
- King Arthur
- Time Lord
Girls
- Touch Her and I’ll Cut Your Penis Off
I think I like that one for girls so much I’m not even going to try for any other ones. Please consider what I’ve said here. Oh and I have one suggestion for all of you for your next child … it’s a great potential name: Joe Is King.
I love learning new things. Relearning things is really annoying. Several years ago my wife started the difficult task of teaching me HTML. With time and a couple books from BAM I mastered basic HTML. Of course mastering HTML made me realize that web pages don’t end with HTML, there are several technologies potentially in play including Cascading Style Sheets. Mastering style sheets wasn’t nearly as easy as mastering HTML, in fact I never really mastered CSS. While I never mastered CSS I did get pretty decent at the basics.
For the past three years I’ve been a developer, but I rarely work with HTML, CSS, or JavaScript at work. Now when I need to work with my sites I find myself researching how to do the most basic things. CSS can be particularly touchy. The smallest error in syntax will cause the mark-up to fail. Needles to say this can be frustrating as I feel like “I’ve learned this before. Why must it be so difficult NOW?”. Â All’s wel though since W3 Schools is always there for me. Between them, my CSS books, and Google – if I can’t figure it out, I can find it out.
It is still annoying however.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
WHO exactly WHO?!? was the brilliant mastermind that OK’d Erica Durance’s hair change in Smallville? The Lois Lane that I fell in love with has at a MINIMUM blond highlights. WHO?! is that woman with plain brown hair?!
AGH!
At least they still have that shot of her coming out of the water during the opening. *purrrrrr*
Saturday, December 26, 2009
The movie industry has everything boiled down to several very specific and perfect formulas. The number of car chases and explosions in an action flick depends greatly on the location but is generally seven. The time it takes for the villain in a chick flick to become the hero is one hour fifteen minutes (give or take ten minutes). Partial nudity scenes keep the 18-32 year old men interested enough to stay through the entire movie, especially bad movies … or movies with plots. They are generally limited to 1 at twenty-two minutes in for movies that start slowly but pick up later. Two scenes for movies that really do suck  set at twenty-two and forty minute marks. Stay away from any movie with three or more partial nudity scenes. Note that movies with montages of topless chesty women are not included in this formula and these movies are proven to be awesome.
About as important as what goes IN to the movie is WHEN the movie is shown. Take the following movie times for instance at a local theater.
Since this is a new release, the number of people attending should be high so the number of seats provided each day has been determined to be roughly the equivalent of  17 showings with an average capacity of 80%. Notice how this family film has been spread throughout the day as well. Shows begin at 11:50 AM and there are nine showings for those families that are awake during the day and have no jobs but some disposable income to blow before later sleeping in their cars. For the working classes, an additional seven showings between 5 and 10 PM are in place to allow these folks to bring their spoiled spawn to the theater. Finally there are two showings after 11PM for the childless shamed few who either love children’s films or have chipmunk fetishes. Don’t be surprised to find a more than few pedophiles at these showings as well. They will be the alone wearing trench coats.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Here’s a quick list of things that I blame on Global Warming:
- Warming of the globe – duh!
- Cooling of the globe – ironic isn’t it?
- Hurricanes! – We had something like 3(?) this year? Oh the humanity!
- Erratic weather – the weather was SO much more predictable 10 years ago
- Increased prostitution – really! The U.N. says so, so it MUST be true. I mean folks at the U.N. NEVER hide/destroy/suppress information for their own purposes, and we all know NOTHING political ever happens there … they are PURELY a scientific organization.
- Gingivitis
- Night at the Roxbury
- Skepticism becomes a crime- but ONLY for anti-climate change topics
- Melting glaciers
- Expanding glaciers
- Deserts – wait increased CO2 will cause increase forestation so …
- Jungles
- Rising Waters – Really the ice caps will melt and all those hurricanes are dumping water especially in the drought ridden South. We’ll all drown eventually. Thank goodness for the increased number of ..
- Mountains – All that water is going to press down on the mantle which will cause land masses to shift and rise.
- Nuclear war
- Gingivitis
Phew … I’m missing several things I’m sure. Â If you can think of anything let me know. Oh yeah…