Joe-k. Get it? A joke that Joe wrote. That’s not the joke though and don’t go saying ‘that was obvious.’ No need for all that. I have feelings. The joke follows:
A man goes to see his psychiatrist.
“So what’s the matter?” The doctor asks the man.
“I don’t know really, but lately I’ve noticed that any time I hear someone talk about politics, I get mad.”
“Oh,” the psychiatrist said. “That’s interesting. This could be one of two things. To figure out which, tell me, under what circumstances causes this anger?”
The man thought for a moment and replied, “It’s almost all of the time. I’m getting mad at everyone regardless of their position. I used to love talking politics, so I really don’t understand what’s going on.”
“Ah yes, well I’ve got some bad news and some good news for you,” the doctor said. “The bad news is that you’ve developed Common Sense, and it’s likely fatal.”
The man gasped. “Fatal?” he asked, face displaying the queasiness he was feeling.
“Yes,” the doctor said. “But the good news is that it is only fatal to your Sense of Optimism. I’m afraid that without drastic measures, you’re going to become a cynic.”
The man shed a single tear as he contemplated his future. He thought to himself that life as a cynic might not be as bad as it sounded, but somehow he knew it probably was actually worse. He gasped then, realizing it was already happening.
Eventually the man came out of his contemplation and asked the doctor, “You said there were two possibilities? Is the other possibility better or worse?”
“In one regard it’s almost better, but in all other regards it is much worse,” the doctor said. “The condition feels better personally but is actually an incredibly contagious plague on society. It destroys friendships, divides families, and can even take over people making them mindless slaves.”
“Thank God I didn’t get that,” the man exclaimed. “What is this terrible affliction called?”
“Partisanship.”
© 2020, Joe Little. All rights reserved.