Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson
Where to start? Ah yes.
Go buy this book. Now. It’s that good. You don’t have to read this review, just trust me. Buy the book. Read the book. Laugh your ass off. Finish the book. Go to www.thebloggess.com and read her blog. Go to www.audible.com and then buy her audio book. Listen to the audio book. That’s her reading it. Yup you get to hear HER talk about HER vagina in HER own voice. HER! I’m getting ahead of myself though. Go get your copy and I’ll wait for you.
…
Did you buy a copy yet? Yes? I don’t believe you. Why? Who stops reading a blog post to go out and buy a book? So unless you already own a copy I call shenanigans. If all you are going to do is lie to me, you really should read another blog cause I’m the only one that gets to lie on THIS blog buddy. OK technically I guess I have a few friends that have accounts as authors that could lie too, but I’m the only one that will ever post anything, so … whatever.
Since you won’t run off and just buy the book without any more information, I’ll just have to try to convince you.
First of all, Jenny Lawson is The Bloggess. I can’t even begin to describe her. While I could come up with a variety of phrases and adjectives that might all be true none would suffice. She’s a native Texan who grew up dirt poor, has a crazy imagination, is ALL about the best internet memes (plus Will Wheaton whom I refuse to like because he’s mean to Sheldon Cooper. Excuse me, DOCTOR Sheldon Cooper. I didn’t mean to be rude), and uses only the finest language. And by finest language I mean while her sentence structure is excellent, it is used to frame words like fuck, fucking, fucker, shit, and vagina. So classy. Oh I guess I should warn you that the book and this post about said book contain some “blue” language. There. You are warned.
Next you need to know that the book is all mostly true accounts of the bizarre crap that happened from her earliest memories to much more recent events by the end of the book. Her childhood memories mostly revolve around her father who seems to this humble reader as fricken awesome. In reading these accounts, one can get a real sense of how difficult it actually is to permanently harm a child when you are harming them with love. OK that might be bad to suggest, so don’t anyone take that last sentence as a challenge. Mess with the kiddos and I will destroy you. OK probably not, but only because I’m a total coward and probably can’t find you. Just don’t do it.
As the chapters progress, Jenny transitions from child to awkward preteen to awkward teen to awkward college student to awkward wife to awkward mother and somewhere along the way finds the internet and begins to kick some blogging ass. That last part isn’t so much a part of the book as it is my personal evaluation of the author. But you get the sense that the author has had moments where she was pretty awkward and riddled with insecurity. That awkwardness and insecurity lends the author a kind of vulnerability that is endearing. Plus all that awkwardness lends itself to the development of a personality that is both a little frightening and very interesting but only in the best way. If there is a best way.
Some of the chapters are a little sad, some have a kind of moral or positive life message at the end, and many are laugh-out-loud funny. I laughed to tears more than once, but I admit I am a laugher. One point in contention that I have with the author or perhaps more correctly her editor was the exclusion of the chapter “Balls” from the regular book. This chapter was bonus content in the audio-book and was presumably withheld from the print version because it just wasn’t good enough. That chapter was in my top three funniest and most fulfilling of chapters, and I laughed out loud as much in that chapter as any other.
But in the long run YOU have to decide to check out this book for yourself. If you don’t, You are a murderer of laughter! (Bonus points if you know what movie I got “You are a murder of …” from. Ok it is Dan in Real Life. Awesome sweet movie staring Steve Carell. Steve’s character, Dan, is sweet guy and father of three girls who meets the first woman that has actually interested him since his wife’s death. Unfortunately she isn’t exactly available. I don’t want to give anything away, but the ride is worth the watch. I’ll tie this into Jenny’s book by saying that Dan comes across as being a little awkward at times, but like Jenny ends up being quite the hero at the end).
Wait I have to end with something about the book. Preferably something about the book and modestly funny … hmmm … ok here goes.
If you have reached this far into this review, then you are the kind of person that simply cannot make up your own mind. Since you are so seemingly easy to manipulate I will insist that you check out this book. In fact use the following link and go buy it for your Kindle RIGHT NOW! Kindle version of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir)
P.S. This chick has a serious hard on for The Little House on the Prairie. Just a warning.
P.P.S. I’m so stealing this schtick from her.
P.P.P.S. I don’t care.
© 2012, Joe Little. All rights reserved.