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I don’t do politics here. I don’t do politics for two basic reasons: 1) I want people to be entertained and 2) there is just SO much that is asinine about politics that I would end up drowning the blog in meaningless dross. Wait, don’t I do that second one anyway? Regardless, I don’t do politics.

What I will do here is to complain about the process of politics! I think that I can make THAT entertaining, and I think we can all agree that the process as it stands sucks.

So here’s the deal. I could easily take a stance, pick one, any one. The general discourse today would be for me to state my opinion, throw a lot of facts, pseudo-facts and outright lies out at you, and then do some sort of written power move that equates to me saying, “Your ass just got served”.

Now if you happen to hold opinions similar to mine own you’d probably overlook all of my pseudo-facts and outright lies and fixate squarely on the facts I’ve presented. Additionally you may comment to whatever I may have said and add your own facts, pseudo-facts, and outright lies. You may also present supposition and hearsay as if it were fact. After all, even a blind squirrel finds a nut on occasion.

If you happen to hold opinions that differ from mine own you’d probably overlook all of my facts and concentrate exposing on my lies and making my pseudo-facts appear to be outright lies. Additionally you may comment to whatever I may have said and add your own counter facts, counter pseudo-facts, and counter outright lies. You may also present supposition and hearsay as if it were fact as well.

Personal attacks will ensue on everyone living and dead.

Now after a while a trend will form that will show support for one side or the other. Some will take this trend to mean that a majority of Americans, or a majority of the Intarweb, or a majority of readers agree with whatever side the trend favors. They are of course, wrong. The trend means that the majority commenters have out commented the minority commenters with regard to the current post. In clearer terms, the trend means … wait for it … absolutely nothing. And yet some news organizations will report the trend.

Now at this point I should introduce the fact that someone will inevitably throw their religion or their prejudice against a (or any) religion in the mix as well. This inevitability is one of the founding aspects of the Universe. God, Buddha, and Darwin all agree on this matter. The science and dogma have been written and/or proven, so of course there is no more discussion on the topic. Ever. Because when we know we are right we close our minds.


There are other tangents to throw into the mix as well. All of which are distractions. In fact too often the entire topic at hand is a distraction from some fundamental political topic that if the general populace were to realize then those in control might find themselves retiring from their positions of power, wealth, and influence to their lifetime pensions and paid health care a tad early. What was it I said about corruption? Oh nothing. It was in hover text so it doesn’t count.

Oh crap. That reminds me. Since when have we started to allow politicians, heck anyone outside of sixth grade, to get away with splitting hairs as finely as politicians do now? Hell I bet nanotubes were discovered when politicians started splitting hairs so finely they found they could build light-weight superstructures out of their compounded lies. Sorry, not lies. Promises. Misstatements. Dithering. Flip flopping. Lies.

Let me take this moment to point out the only reason that I’m not insanely mad at the entire process that I must scream is that I’m currently grooving to “Kalimba” from the album Ninja Tuna by Mr. Scruff. Yeah that’s right, I groove. Additionally I would like to point out that ridiculously-compounded sentences AND one sentence paragraphs do in fact rule.

Now back to topic.

Mind you I call out everyone on this. EVERYONE! None of you are exempt, and not even I. That is why I don’t do politics. We are too much of a Us vs. Them, Home vs. Away, Red vs. Blue, and Adventurer vs. Goblin – society. Additionally we all have our favorite topics, people, and/or ideas that we turn a blind eye towards. Many of us, if not all, additionally have our favorite topics, people and/or ideas to attack. Combine these two natures with the tendency of people to almost always think that they or their own are smarter/more capable to know right from wrong than anyone else and frankly any discussion is doomed. DOOMED!

It is due to the above observations that voting has forever been tainted for me. I do continue to vote anyway because for at least a short period every couple of years I can delude myself into thinking I’m making a difference.

Now as tainted as voting might be for me, media coverage of anything political is all the more tainted. I trust the media (pick an outlet, any outlet) about as far as I trust those curbside proctologist exams that homeless guy gave me back in ’02. You know a proctology tangent is an apt divergence for this topic. Painful proctology.

Anyway, if you’ve ever wondered why I don’t do politics here (or go to the proctologist anymore) now you know. In the end, it’s just too painful.

© 2011, Joe Little. All rights reserved.