So I was playing around with Google Earth and I found the following. When I saw it I thought to myself that the image looked like it was pixelated in places. It looked as if Google Earth just couldn’t render the image properly or someone was trying to hide something.
Wondering what was afoot, I zoomed in closer to the following. The closer image was really starting to look sketchy. I mean there seemed to be whole sections that were not distorted and others that were distorted with either squares or circles of color. I could then see that it was definitely some sort of cover-up.
I told my wife that I needed to contact Agent Mulder at the FBI, but she just grunted and returned to watching Shipping Wars. I screamed that I needed her to get the number because I had to continue to monitor Google Earth. Someone could have come along and removed the evidence before I could get it to someone in the X-Files department, so OBVIOUSLY I couldn’t look away. A few moments later my girl comes in the room with a corner of a sheet of paper. On it was scribbled, “Agent Mulder” and below that ” 1 800 You’re An Idiot” All I could think for several minutes was, “That’s a LOT of numbers”. Then I noticed the apostrophe and I thought, “What number is THAT”. Finally I got the “joke” and I slammed my fist down on the desk. When I did I accidentally hit my mouse and my fist slid off the scroll button. Man that hurt, but when I looked up I saw the following. Finally the truth was revealed.
It seemed that my conspiracy was actually modern farming techniques in the Mid-West and Western USA. First it seems that there’s SO MUCH FARM LAND in these states, someone decided to go all Minecraft on the roads and build them into nice little squares. Then someone got real lazy and built irrigation systems that only water in circles. Circles are the Devil’s work. I don’t trust ’em. Finally it seems different people own these squares and circles and they don’t all agree on what to plant or when to plant it, so all the colors are different. From the right distance from the ground, it all looks pixelated. Crazy. You learn something new every day. Or in my case, I learn something new every once and a while. Something tells me I should have learned this a once and a while a long time ago. Oh well.
© 2013, Joe Little. All rights reserved.